It is a power move to choose yourself.
It’s not your partner’s responsibility to heal you, nor your parents’, nor your community healer’s, nor your therapist’s. There’s empowerment, not harshness, in telling yourself, “that is my responsibility.” It is your ‘ability to respond’ that is self love in this situation. It is intentional, self-fulfilling preparedness for what we know the world is capable of putting us through at any moment. Our human condition needs catering, emotionally and spiritually. After all, we have been at war. Step into your worthiness and make the choice to love yourself like no one else can.
You’re doing it if:
You ask “what type of emotional tenderness may I need to get through this?” and make time and space for it
You are grateful for any support you receive and are aware of what you are responsible for creating and communicating within your circle.
You have a way of rewarding yourself for the small victories you notice in your process.
Although I have always been an independent thinker, the idea of intimate love coming from myself and not someone else was foreign to me. I found myself being frustrated at my boyfriend for not swooping in and motivating me to heal in the ways I needed and at the time I needed. I knew those thoughts were problematic, especially because most of my needs were buried under my own shame. I resolved to write myself a song of all the things I apparently wanted to hear from him. The song is featured on my upcoming album and it's called “Tell me”. I became aware that I had written myself my first love song. When I was lonely or sad, it was this song that helped me sing a sweeter tune to myself and be more loving.