It will serve you to temporarily step out of the crossfire.
Whatever that safe, loving place is for you, go there and treat yourself to that. Many survivors of trauma power through whatever is going on for them without a second thought. From my experience, survivors of sexual violence can feel particularly apt to hiding our deepest wounds in an effort to feel normal again, or get back to “the way it was.” However visible or invisible the trauma, it is important for one to designate a loving or peaceful place (physical or mental) to visit at different milestones in your healing process.
Ways to graze:
Find places that make you feel safe, powerful or peaceful for good energy (temples, scenic nature, cafe, safe space etc)
Protect yourself from possibly triggering situations or people.
Explore ways to track, acknowledge and celebrate your progress at a landmark of your choosing.
The place I go has scents that bring me serenity. The aura of the space does more cleansing than it does internal cluttering. I designated a lake in Livermore, CA to be my “healing lake.” The lake is so soothing to me because it feels like it can hold everything I come with. It’s great basin hears my inner calls for consolation. It’s a place where I do not feel a heightened sense of danger or pain. It helps to know that every time I take the trip for myself to relax and connect with nature, I’m getting more of my internal work done. It also serves as a check point for me. When I take time to go there, I’m checking in with self and acknowledging the progress I’ve made since visits past. In my process, I prioritize my safety, practice release and contemplate kindly to myself… sometimes yoga or dancing in a circle with friends is involved.